divorced. Who did what to whom is not going to be a factor in your divorce unless there is child neglect or abuse involved, or if a spouse is spending marital assets on an adulterous affair. The former may impact child custody and time-sharing, and the latter may impact the equitable distribution of your financial assets and liabilities.

Divorce is incredibly emotional and often draining. It can be completely debilitating at times. And yet, during this process, you will be called upon to make numerous major life decisions that will likely impact the rest of your life. That is probably the single best reason to hire an attorney to assist you in this process, preferably in a way that will get you through this ordeal with as little waste of your financial resources as possible. But my goal is to do a great deal more than just give you the necessary legal advice to get you the best possible outcome. I try my best to give you the kind of practical guidance you need to navigate the emotional roller coaster to which this time in your life can be aptly compared. One of my favorite divorce books is Crazy Time by Abigail Trafford. For a list of other recommended books for parents and for child, click Resources.

It is always better to settle the terms of your divorce amicably than it is to fight it out in court. Litigation is expensive, stressful, time-consuming and ultimately, a gamble. The most cost-effective use of my time is in preparing your case for an amicable resolution. However, there are always cases where the issues are extraordinary and the case must be prepared for trial. Ms. Brodzki has had extensive trial experience in her more than 20 year legal career. She has tried hundreds of cases in front of countless Judges and Magistrates, including not only those in the Family Division in Broward and Palm Beach counties, but Civil Circuit and County Court Judges throughout Dade, Broward, Palm Beach, Monroe and other Florida Counties.

The Initial Stages:

Many divorces are settled before court papers are ever filed. They can be resolved by both parties working together with a single neutral mediator (preferably a qualified attorney), or by both parties having their own attorneys who settle the case through direct settlement negotiations or through a relatively new process called Collaborative Divorce. Collaborative Divorce consists of both parties having their own attorneys, who work together in a cooperative way to develop the financial picture of the parties, agreeing on experts if needed, and generally working together to reach a fair and equitable settlement for the parties. For more information about collaborative law, click the Collaborative Family Law tab.

But assuming that pre-filing settlement isn’t possible, the first step in your divorce is to prepare the initial papers. If you are the spouse filing for divorce, that will include a Petition for Dissolution. There are certain required elements that must be included in the Petition, but it is not the place to tell the story of why you are getting divorced. Along with the Petition will be a document that details certain information about your children (if applicable), a document with required social security information (that is sealed and not available to public view), and your financial affidavit.

Mandatory Disclosure
After the initial pleadings have been filed and served upon your spouse, the next step is complying with the rule that requires mandatory financial disclosure. The parties, either separately or working together, must produce all of their mutual financial documentation. You will receive a document checklist lists each and every item covered by this rule.  All of the assets and liabilities should be determined at the time you are filling out your financial affidavit, and copies of the actual statements, accounts and records are produced to the other side.

Mediation
All divorce cases must at least attempt mediation at some point before they can go before a Judge for a final hearing, or trial, of the matter. Mediation is where most divorces are settled. You and I, your spouse and his/her lawyer, and a neutral mediator (also an attorney experienced in family law) spend what is usually the better part of a day negotiating the details of your divorce, drawing up a settlement agreement (often after several drafts and many revisions as the parties and the lawyers read through it) and signing it that same day.

Before we attend mediation, we will spend an hour or two preparing together. We will discuss various scenarios, and you will leave that preparation meeting with a clear picture of what to expect, what strategies we plan to follow, what your bottom line is, and where you’re willing to be flexible. Settlement is all about compromise. There is a saying that goes: “a good settlement is one where both parties are equally unhappy”. Be prepared to compromise. I assure you, the worst settlement is still better than the best trial. Although I will often talk in terms of what a Judge might do, our goal is always to avoid having to see the Judge for anything but an uncontested final hearing where the Judge signs your final divorce decree.

While the divorce is pending:

Just because you are getting divorced doesn’t mean that your responsibilities to one another are over. You both have an obligation to protect your marital assets. You can’t go on a spending spree or start hiding marital assets. It won’t work. There’s always a paper trail, and I have yet to meet a client who was smarter at hiding assets than any half-decent private investigator (or intrepid spouse) couldn’t find using the internet and some good old-fashioned detective work. Transfers to family members are automatically suspicious. Don’t bother. Be honest. You’ll get through the whole process much more easily. You cannot cancel your spouse’s insurance, stop paying ‘their share’ of the bills when you’ve always been the primary breadwinner, and otherwise change the way things had been prior to the filing for divorce. A good rule of thumb is if it seems wrong it probably is wrong. If you wouldn’t want it done to you, don’t do it to your spouse. This is not a time for one-upmanship or spite.

Your Role
You are the primary fact finder in your family law case. Your role will be to provide all the information and evidence possible to prove the issues in your case. You should keep a journal, writing down everything that happens relating to your divorce. If kept as a diary, such a notebook can become invaluable, admissible evidence to show the court what happened. If you lie to your lawyer, your lawyer can’t really help you. You enjoy a privilege of complete confidentiality with your attorney, and with your attorney’s office staff. (Note: If you bring others with you to your office appointments, please be advised that actually negates the attorney-client privilege, and if for some reason that person became hostile towards you, he/she could freely go and tell the other side everything that was said in that conference). Your attorney can best help you if they have all the facts, even the unpleasant ones. We will do whatever we can to minimize the impact of “negative” facts. But we cannot have a successful strategy to deal with a situation of which we aren’t aware. There is nothing worse than being surprised in a hearing with facts that a client neglected to tell mention. Your cooperation with your attorney is essential to your case.

The Attorney’s Role
The lawyer’s role is to guide you through this process with compassion, expertise and efficiency. The lawyer provides balance and objectivity to assist you in making difficult decisions. She makes recommendations to you designed to put you in the best possible position to achieve the result that you want. She should do everything possible to keep you informed at all times as to the progress of your case. Messages should be returned within 24 hours.

In the End
I practice family law because I truly love helping people. I am meeting you at one of the most difficult times in your life, and I have the privilege of being one of your closest advisers assisting you through that process. In most cases, I am rewarded with seeing my clients better off at the end of this journey than they were when they first walked into my office. Once in awhile I get to make a real difference in someone’s life. And that makes it all worthwhile. I want you to have the best possible outcome for your particular set of circumstances. My goal is to bring you through this ordeal with your dignity intact. I will work hard for you. I have a long list of satisfied clients (and even some of their exes) that is my largest source of referrals. In the end, I hope that I will have earned your enthusiastic recommendation.